Words are as powerful as described in the proverb thousands of years before, “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” In today context, it’s the mastery of the art of complimenting one another. Positive and constructive praising usually brings up the best of an individual, opening doors for the ultimate achievement. Asian tends to be conservative in giving compliments either to their colleagues, friends or family members unlike their western counterparts, mostly due to their generic humble cultures and upbringings. Japanese tends to limit themselves by giving out standard compliments such as “it’s so cute”, “ it’s so lovely” across all things whereas south east Asian tends to be defensive and skeptical when rare praises are given.
We all know that giving and acknowledging pleasant comments can be useful in enhancing relationship among coworkers, friends and families. There are three key areas one need to be aware of and practice do makes perfect. Simply be open minded about matters and do yourself and others a favor by greeting and complimenting others. After all the easiest and most effective to cheer yourself up is to cheer up others first. Praises need to be sincere, specified and timely, also, one must be confident enough to receive and acknowledge compliments with grace. Last but not least, avoid being excessive and patronizing.
There are many reasons why dog is the mankind best pal, being able to accept compliments with instant gratification is one of them. Therefore one must always give timely and specified praises with true sincerity to reinforce positive behaviors. People are in fact not much different from dog except being a little bit more complicated, if you notice your colleague had dyed their hair tell him or her the color looks matching and it fit her or him nicely. Physically hugging your spouse and children and tell them they are your precious gifts from God daily. One can train their eyes to look for specified nice things on people and give appropriate pleasant comments, new pair of shoes, colorful dress, eye catching bag, new hairstyle and so on. The key is to take interest in others; physical, pleasant personality, culinary, hobbies, line of work and so on. Most people really didn’t care how much you know but they take matters with higher degree of seriousness, so long one is sincere enough in praising others as this demonstrated actual caring and this is all it needed to brighten up everybody as its scientifically proven the act of giving gifts and compliments carries the same satisfaction and sense of wholeness as having reunion with spouse or eating a delicious candy bar.
For many Asian, compliments are rarely given just for the sake of complimenting. It usually an opening topic to reflect on one’s line of thought anticipating praising and comments in returns, for example, one would comment on the extra weight gained and thinning hairlines on others projecting his or her own concerns as these had been on their mind all the while and had limited their horizon of views on other positive aspects, one can practice to take note only of the positive parameters and praise about them instead. Another phenomena among Asian was the perceived arrogant if one just simply accept the compliment with thanks rather than being humble and play it down by praising back. “Your handbag matches your dress very well today”, “Just a cheap dress I bought from market the other day, it’s nothing compare to your shiny diamond ring”… the exchanges continues with a touch of negative sarcastic tone in between. Instead of achieving the wonderful feeling of giving and accepting simple compliments, it becomes a salvo firing platform on materialistic possession and make one feel worst than before. It takes guts and courage to just simply accept your next compliments with a genuine smile of “Thank you very much”.
“Silent is Gold” was what Asian were taught. Avoid excessive exchange of verbal communication to minimize potential mistakes. The mastery of art of complimenting becomes a reality when it was used indirectly on the works itself. Avoid being excessive and patronizing. “Your email was very well drafted strategically” is better than “You are great today”. “Your presentation to the board was very well delivered, I like the color you used in the charts” carries more weights than “You are the best in the whole department in giving presentation”. Be specified and moderate and you will be really making a positive difference in others including your own.
In summary, it’s really didn’t come naturally for Asian to leverage on the great power of pleasant words to one another due to cultural difference and upbringing. Although many of us are inspired by the soft power of Western cultures through media on their demonstration of open affection in physical hugging and compliments, the great majority of us lack of the skills and practice to put them into practice. Nevertheless, its wasn’t as difficult as it seemed to take advantage of the positive effects of praising one another as its totally free and it’s as nourishing as honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones, they key is one need to start giving them out with an open mind before one can harvest them in return, Joys when shared will be multiplied in size, same thing goes for the compliments. Always try to have a positive and cheerful mindset helps too. Its not the feeling of the day that counts, its the decision you make every day in the morning that dictate your characters over an extended period of time that decide what sort of person you really are.
Uncle Garfied Enjoy His Fusion Chicken Rice at Charlie Brown Cafe…