Chinese views on the ever-emotive issue of dating a much older man

Growing number of Asian ladies are flocking to the arms of much older man and most of the Asian parents hardly laid out the welcome mat for the man who is dating their daughters with a huge age gap in the range of 7 to 30. Some would go the extreme ways to break off their relationship fearing of their grown up girls being taken advantaged of which are not uncommon as reported regularly in the mainstream media. This article explores the psychological mindsets of the ladies who prefer dating older man, as there always exceptions of successful courtship and marriage in this nature and what are the commonalities of such couples and what can we possibly learn from them.

For ladies who just begun the exciting journey in the labor market in their early 20s, many of them shun on their male peers as suitable mates as not surprisingly they are  no match to those in the 30 or 40s age group in terms of financial strength, maturity and lifestyle. Women who cling to the older man are primary for the sake of better security and resources either knowingly or subconsciously due to the basic fundamental maternal pursuit of producing and breeding high quality off-springs not unlike in the animal kingdom.

As the 3 major components for a successful courtship and unions are namely appearance, characters and resources, only characters more or less remain the same over the life-span and some who naïvely think that one can totally change one another through the power of love and marriages are usually disappointed more often than not with some un-repairable damages done. Resource and appearance are something that changes over time and one must be ready to accept and embrace it when things aren’t as rosy as before down the road to minimize potential regrets.

Golden rules of the guys should be 7 to 10 years older than the women hold some essence of truth in the past although it didn’t take into the account of progressive development of an individual especially for the modern highly motivated, educated, independent and resourceful women in the 21st centuries. A more hands on rule of thumbs are the man’s age divided by 2 and add 7. For example, a 50 years old man best matches are (50/2+7 =32) early thirties ladies. (See below illustrations)

Women Vs Men

As a matter of facts, for women in their 30s, its relatively safe to have much older boyfriends as they themselves are experienced and mature enough to know what they wanted and expected out of a relationship and wouldn’t be easily blinded or short changed as compare when they are ten years younger.  Therefore It’s a generally better to have narrower age gap mates for younger ladies  as they probably aren’t prepared enough to take the plunge with the potential harsh realities ahead.

On the other hands, what can the younger women offer to the more senior man apart for practical consideration of producing healthier offspring is the ring of glory and prides that comes with it by showing off to his friends and relatives as a testimonial of his unbeaten streak of strong capabilities and attractiveness.

In conclusion, there aren’t any fast and hard rules of the ideal age gap between couple but the narrower the better for younger woman. To make it a successful relationship, one must also look beyond the age factor and focus on characters and appearance and once a commitment is established, no regrets and no looking back and simply bite the bullet and make it work. Last but not least, it’s important to secure blessings from both side of the families of courtship in this manner as Asian family do value good names and faces among other things as unlike in the older days where marriages are pre-arranged with careful screening and selection of both bridge and groom families in the same demographic zone, freedom of dating and marrying are here to stay and it does comes with higher level of challenges for a mutually satisfying, life-span prolonging, economical and beneficial union.

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