Prioritize man’s needs were from the start a high wire act practiced by generations of Asian women including the contemporary new breeds of modern, highly educated and capable ladies . Some hold on to the belief that sacrificing virtues practice by their hierarchy of past mothers are the only way to secure solid loves in returns and would faithfully guarantee a long, lasting and enviable marriage in the Asian context.
Although it’s a widely acknowledged that an excessive ego of women would often ruin a relationship as blindly insisting an absolute equal footing in an union simply didn’t work as man and women are complimentary to each other in nature. On the other hand, being excessive submission has the same damaging effect as the modern man unlike their predecessors had actually evolved to be more sensitive, sensible and accommodating, having a superior and demanding spouse no longer provoke their ire and many are willing to share the loads of managing the household and preferred a productive and equal mate instead.
After all, a healthy marriage is more than the partnership of just two consenting adults but functions on a larger scheme of things for community as not only it provides an indispensable breeding ground for future offspring to be brought up with abundant of unconditional love and self-worthiness, it also provides a legal and obligating framework for both the man and women to have one another needs and wants fulfilled adjusting to varying nature of needs of the different stages of their adult years well into the closing chapters.
There are three category of obedience in Asian contexts. 1. Totally dependable to the man due to the absolute lack of resources and means. 2. Giving in for exchanging of cares and attention in returns. 3. Unconditional and wholeheartedly scarifying for the sake of the completeness of the family. So long certain bottom lines are observed, all three type are entitled to a sound and strong marriage.
One needs to take advantages of the distinct nature of both sexes, men strive on respects and trust and women craves pampering, no matter which level of obedience the women observes, man just needs to be the head of the family, at least in perception in their network of friends and relatives, this is the challenging part as new generation of women are almost all brought up to be more assertive and outspoken. One typical example is the excessive scrutinizing of a man’s affairs which reflects a lack of trust and would sow the seeds of looming crisis.
Another common pitfall is to hold the man hostage for deliverables by over sacrificing behaviors without keeping one’s self worth as the overwhelming pressure would normally drive the man to seek out alternative channels to meet their fundamental pursuit of affirmative acknowledgement. It explains the increasing trend of plights of women losing their man to others in the long run as unfulfilling relationship weaken rock solid marriages.
In addition, ego and dignity a man must have to excel in their duties and of course the accompanying loyalty and faithfulness to one another. After all, man are surprisingly easy to be manipulated, they simply needs to be admired, respected and have their prides massaged like the eldest grown up son competing with other children seeking affirmation, pampering and attentions from the women of the family. Women has high probabilities of cementing a proud marriage by playing the cards right by leveraging on nature given gifts of compassionate, elegant, perseverance and resourceful.
Having said that, we can’t deny some man had strong opinions and dictatorial personality typically influenced and shaped from their upbringings, women needs extraordinary efforts and patience to establish their own identify, self-worth, security and boundary. The key is not losing of one’s self worth and identify in the process of upholding the family’s wholeness, continue to pursue one’s interest and hobbies, maintaining own network of supporting resource group and so on.
In summary, with the liberation of women in education and career choices, there has been a remarkable shift of power in modern marriage. Women had gained remarkable foothold in economic progress and self-reliance however it does not necessary bode well for the long-term well-being of a household as social imbalance would eventually emerges, with accompanying consequences that are hard to reverse but not impossible, ladies being more resources in their genetic makeup had proven again and again the high chances of keeping both personal inspiration on career as well as a respectable family as we are at crossroads of traditional values with modern lifestyle, its pays to know the rules of engagement, observing submission in altitude and obedience in action , be firm and gentle for integrity of own’s self esteem and values. There are no reasons why the man couldn’t excel and take charge of being the head of the household.
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