Contrary to popular belief, married Asian man’s seemingly incompetence in sharing the loads of the household chores isn’t entirely their faults, but a failure in proper delegation leveraging fundamentals difference in what drives a man and a women.
It’s a well known fact that contemporary married Asian women is a category winner, gaining much hard-earned progress collectively enjoy massive influences in societies, workplaces and families in an unprecedented scale. Many carries equal if not more financial responsibilities in contributing to the family’s expenses, a fraction of them are relentlessly pursuing higher career goals while maintaining a respectable marriage while majority others wonders what went wrong in theirs as their man simply refuse to bulge to share the heavy loads of the chores which causes much agonies and conflicts
Indeed, household duties comes inevitably with establishment of a family, physical jobs like sanitation maintenance, minor repairing, meals preparation and cleaning up, taking care of the young offspring, laundry of the clothes of family members, gardening and so on all are daily affairs needed to be tackled in order to have a decent living, playing and resting place for all to enjoy.
Therefore, Its pays to understand the couple of underlying factors why the man just sit around and do nothing after work while the women having to work flat out, both at work and at home as if they are running on double shift. Surprisingly, there are only two category.
One category of them are dominating in nature, dictating methods and styles as how the domestic jobs should be carried out as they are proud and stringent of their own high standard and refuse to give up full ownership of the chores, man in nature are not receptacle to this manner and if jobs are not done according to their perfections, reprimanding and whining are quickly dispensed and man being man just gives up after a few round of attempts.
Second category of women are mentally and physically prepared and capable of pulling in the double shift but incapable of soliciting timely compliments and acknowledgements from the man for their share of the contribution and in times complaint outspokenly for self-compensating imbalance mindset and had no intention to pass on the responsibilities as they jealously guarded their area of excellent unknowingly and ended up locking herself in the vicious cycles of frustrating, whining and mumbling which turns off most of the man. Some man needed to be told to be more appreciative and it’s critical to express them verbally and physically.
As a matter of fact, man needs behavioral encouragement and massaging of the ego, given opportunity, most of them can be trained and groomed to assume some if not all of the daily duties, it’s simple and effective. Strategies apply correctly will spark the essence of the manhood as it looks to appeal to one of the most confusing roles of the man in modern times, conflicts falls as compliments strike. In fact, Man’s leadership in family have diminished significantly over the past decades as women is becoming more autonomous and financially capable, it’s time to justifiable compromise on quality and requirements of the chores and let the man assume full ownership.
As long one understands which category one belongs to, there are proven working remedies to improve the situation instantly to get the man off the coach. First step is to question yourself do you really wanted the man to share the loads as they potentially can do a much better job if given delegation properly and take over your legacy stronghold dominance in the family. If so, some of the tips are as below;
– Constant pampering, massaging of their ego; bear-hug the man from behind while the man is washing the dishes, eg.(I felt so blessed to have such a caring husband)
– Sincere complimenting and praises; eg. (you look very man in your vacuuming style, the clothes you iron are like brand new, you look strong under the sunshine while drying out laundry)
– Pretending to be incompetence in changing out the bulbs and bringing out the garbage to bring up the manhood and ego within the man. Most man will come to your rescues and delegate themselves in future. eg (You know, I think I sprain my back yesterday while carrying the laundry basket)
– Stay out of man’s private estate who matters to him like desk area, computer setting, car maintenance as they like to be in control and feel comfortable at familiar territory
– Absolutely no negative comments/directions on the tasks already undertaken by the man. Friendly suggestion for improvement are of course required.
– Full delegating of jobs for man to turn it into his area of expertise. eg. (which brand of detergent would you like best? What type of ironing board you prefer…
In summary, what was once the lazy man of family can now brims with passion and energy in managing the household hands in hands together as family landscape is shifting aggressively now, structure is changing. Therefore radical household partnership is getting more and more important. It is to arrive at a broad consensus that will underpin the hard choices that have to be made, the wife cum mother needs to genuinely gives out some of its legacy dominance and accept compromises and man need to bite the bullets and assume the responsibilities as running the household chores do carry its own rewards.
p/s: Bring your man and family to Charlie Brown Cafe-313@somerset to share with him your feelings on running the household chores together, Charlie Wishes You a Happy Marriage and blessed Family..