To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee.”
— William H. Walton
As human, barely a day would goes by without reflecting the past, most were held hostage with unfettered access to the past regrets and betrayal without proper post processing and closures. Having a healthy emotional state of mind hold a few trump cards given the powerful effects that underpins its positive multiplying dominance in the long run for an individual. As Grudges can worsen one’s potential to achieve excellency in respective aspects in physical health, career advancement, emotional and family well being and so on. As a matter of fact, regrets and angers can spiral out of control having a life of itself once habits. structures and social expectations become entrenched.
Indeed, most people has for years suffering in silence for a range of grudges. creating a pesimisive personality increasingly known for its failures in life as being angry also added to the degradation of physical and mental well being. It could fuel very deep imbalances in life attracting misery one after another. Although Its be difficult to steer away from this self-fulling prophecy of blaming one’s regrets and failures on others but one can deploy strategic mental exercise as a gateway to free oneself from holding grudges against others.
5 Steps in REACH
Recall: Perception can becomes nine-tenths of reality and one can take a deep breath and recall the specified incidents in extensive details, avoid jumping to conclusion and strive to be subjective and neutral
Empathy: Acquire capacity to recognize emotions of the alleged perpetrators by tuning to the minds as to why did he or she did it in the first place, rationalized the motives and circumstances behind the scene, although its unlikely to confirm the true reasons but by judging from the behaviors and their dormant personality with benefits of doubts, one can remains emphasizing as people rarely does the extremes except out of desperation or felt cornered and threatened in undisclosed situations. They could had committed the unspeakable deeds unknowingly in self-defense or spur of a moment and most often than not, many didn’t even aware they had caused one great sufferings unless being confronted or told so.
Altruistic: As the principle of concern for the welfare of others that was given to you freely by those you had wronged and the experiences you had gone through, an astonishing transformation to guilt-free and healthy personality complimenting to others surrounding creating a formidable positive circle of influences. The redemption of shames and the gratefulness empowered was exactly an gift we can extend to others for meaningful closures.
Commitments: Possession of guilt and anger free emotions could be one of the most important source of sustained life values in the wider horizon and this cant be accomplished without making a commitments in forgiving others formally, as the road map to build a strong and sunny personality draws mixed results unless its blessed by all related individuals that matters, it can be either accomplished by writing to the individual, formally declare on personal memos, journal, dairy or disclose to trustworthy third party and so on. One common pitfall to avoid was an attempt to embarrass or insult him or her in open by demanding acknowledgements as an admittance of wrongful deed.
Holding: Many fear inevitable accumulative piling of grudges and regrets may put one outlook in disadvantageous position, hindering one moving forward with what life got to offer. Innate sense of self-preservation needed zero burdens from past wrongs. Meanwhile, an individual continues to be stubbornly forgiving, tends to reap from the fruition of larger scale for both decent mental and physical being. Given credits to our creative and resourceful minds, we cant possibly forget the grudges and hatred but that does’t mean that we are incapable of forgiving others for own own sake, after all, such grumbles pale next to the staggering damaged extracted on an large scale to ourselves.
The memories continues but we can replace the tags and labels associating with it, thriving on the momentum the full closure given us to move on with life in a meaningful way.
In conclusion, keeping resilience is a natural trait of a positive and forgiving characteristic looking forward to abundant of opportunities given one receptiveness to give and take with wide open arms.
Uncle Garfied Enjoy a Pleasant and Casual Dining Experience At Charlie Brown Cafe, Singapore with all the Peanuts Gang