How Does Shifting of Level Playing Field Impact Marriages in Asia

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Most of us spend considerable amount of time in solitude as it’s challenging to come across friends and colleagues who are on the same bar as you for a rewarding conversation and nourishing exchanges. As one can only accommodate to different level when situations demand to certain extents, therefore It’s not unexpected for us to have new batch of friends at different stages of our family and career lifespan as we move on with times with varying needs with the exception of most old classmates with the inevitable same if not similar upbringings. Contradict to popular beliefs, we do change and adapt well over the time horizon.

As a matter of fact, the same applies to our other half, its ever rarer for a mature adult to be able to identify and engage a potential mate to embark a life long journey as the gap has to be   negligible to begin with for both to dive into the uncharted territory where both could experience the joys of growing up in wisdom and experiences together with manageable differences in one attitudes towards life major milestones, first house, children rearing, education and so on…

Strong commitment to one another in a marriage is beneficial, but that even more desirable is both having the similar or the same level of intellectual, values and frequency: a solid core of refuge for each other emotional and physical needs, an abiding sense that you had found your exclusive soul mate and the relationship is precious and worthwhile even when you fail or fall short from time to time to each other expectation.

Having incompatible values increase the odds of man compensating the shortfall with women’s youth and beauty but however it didn’t work quite the same the other way around with the exception of abundant wealth and robust security as the primary compromising factors as it’s the norm just one of two generation before. Contemporary competent and financial independent Asian women now places higher priority on man’s superior intellectual properties as this could well be the only few primary reasons they are attracted to them in the first place. One of the worst outcomes for man in any marriages is being despised and losing the respects in the family. Unlike friends and colleagues where one had no moral and legal obligations to interact,having  been caught in an agonizing marriage with no rooms left for breathing had led to the increasing cases of divorces being filed in Asia.

Family distress, already pervasive in Asian community here, is on the rise with increased competitive lifestyle where demographic shifts had fundamentally altered the traditional roles of the husband and wife and the corresponding paternal and maternal responsibility.Notably, women had gained remarkable progress in the past few decades on education, career and lifestyle where man more of less remains status quo.

One should understand it’s the inevitable positive and encouraging shift and both should adjust their expectations accordingly before engaging into a relationship as the consequences of divorces and separation are simply bitter and could had taken a heavy toll on anyone to lead a decent lifestyle subsequently. We can’t have the best of both worlds without some compromises being made for both sexes. Man needs to commit to shoulder the burdens of running a household and be fair and respectful to the modern spouse who isn’t quite the same as your obligatory mother in the formative years growing up. 

Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.


New Family Justice Courts to better resolve family conflicts

Judge-led approach aims to ease the pain and protect the vulnerable

PUBLISHED ON AUG 5, 2014 8:51 AM
The new Family Justice Courts will oversee divorce and other cases relating to painful and personal matters such as family violence, disputes over wills, adoption and guardianship, and custody and other family issues involving children. — PHOTO: ST FILE

A new court will be set up to deal with family disputes in less acrimonious ways under a law passed in Parliament yesterday. The aim is to ease the pain, better protect the vulnerable and cut costs and delays in cases of family conflict.

The Family Justice Courts will oversee divorce and other cases relating to painful and personal matters such as family violence, disputes over wills, adoption and guardianship, and custody and other family issues involving children.

The new system seeks to replace the old adversarial approach – dominated by duelling lawyers – with a judge-led one, where judges specialising in family matters will lead and control the pace and direction of cases.

Among measures being introduced: Parents who plan to divorce must attend a “pre-filing” consultation with state-appointed officials unless they are able to agree on all matters concerning the divorce. Newly appointed “court friends” will assist those not represented by lawyers. And the court will appoint a representative where necessary to protect the interests of the child in bitter divorce disputes.

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