China burgeoning economy in recent decades has spurred extravagant lifestyle that flaunt individual and family wealth worsening social tensions especially when being blown out of proportion by minority of judgmental and critical net citizens through the ever influential and wide reaching social media channels and as a result the majority others were being emotionally hijacked having a compromised perceptions of themselves being on the losing end. As a matter of fact, breaking free from the limbo of ambiguous mental disturbance Chinese experience daily is becoming critical to keep the strong and innocent fire burning within where biased, one-sided and out of context comments taken out of facts is fast becoming the only mainstream media inevitably influencing and shaping Chinese values and opinions.
However, on the brighter side, slowing growth had been forcing many Chinese to rethink the primary purpose in life as exclusive materialistic pursuit is losing its luster in China as hundreds of millions had moved up the economic ladder and realized to their surprise that money alone can’t buy happiness, things got complicated as we go through the basic physiological necessities to “higher” psychological needs. One needs to stay resilient to stand guard to maintain healthy and strong emotional line of defense; Following are three of the most effective ways to steer clear of the troubled water looking out for any potential pirates preying on your minds.
- Love Yourself First. One needs to love oneself first, before giving and accepting others love. Being a complicated emotional being, we often overlook one of the primary objective in our life should be to maximizing our happiness level at all times however our inevitable inferior complexities, sense of guilt, feeling of shames and many other mental elements are preventing us from striving toward being the best and happiest version of ourselves. We unknowingly compromise and undermine our optimal state of mind with extensive proliferation of social media platform and other interactions; seemingly abusive manner, rudeness, inconsideration, harsh opinions by others and even family members often sink us into an abyss of the bottomless spiral negative state, often taking a considerable sizable chunk of our primary mental strength, we constantly think and reflect about it, putting a different angle toward it, rubbing salts into our own wounds just for the kick of it even though the alleged perpetrators or incidents had already been forgotten or forgiven.
“One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his greatest surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t.” ~Henry Ford
In fact, just like how we regard any physical minor injuries; first aid are given immediately preventing deterioration and together with subsequent proper treatments to begin the journey of recovery. Many secondary emotional setback also needs timely intervention avoiding the situations from getting worse as most of the negative feelings either caused by others of self-inflicted disproportionately disrupt our level of peacefulness and self-awareness.
The key is to love yourself first and give yourself a break, what others people thought or spoken of you are nothing more than opinions and comments. Having a strong line of psychological defense is similar to having strong immunity system; Give plenty of unconditional love to yourself and having sufficient rest and balance diet go hand in hand for a rewarding and fulfilling days ahead because nobody else would except yourself and you like anybody else deserve and need the love to thrive where a genuine sense of satisfaction can be achieved by doing something for oneself, rather than seeking satisfaction from outside and the approval of others.
“Choice, not chance, determines your destiny. It’s up to you to decide what you are worth, how you matter, and how you make meaning in the world. No one else has your gifts–your set of talents, ideas, interests. You are an original. A masterpiece.” ― Regina Brett
- Tame the beast of imagination for the worse. Our brains constantly form new connections and it had never ever taken a break even during our sleep. Our primitive instincts of paranoid and fears keeping our ancestors safe from harm since the cave age continue to serve us well and we are still constantly worrying for the unthinkable. Statistically, we can really gotten prepared and take action for 10% of events whereas 90% are simply out of our control.
90% Of The Things You Worry About Won’t Happen–unknown
One need to acts to stem glut of worries crossing our mind ceaselessly, even in our sleep our brain becomes alive manipulating thoughts preoccupying us in our waking hours. Risk mitigation is one of those things, but there are limits to it. If you let your thoughts control you, then you will start thinking about increasingly less likely things that could happen. it’s best that one tackle it at the root by refocusing on constructive things before the “worry spiral” picks up momentum. Worrying with unrelenting doubts and fears can be paralyzing and emotional energy sapping interfering our daily life.
“What you are afraid of is never as bad as what you imagine. The fear you let build up in your mind is worse than the situation that actually exists.”
― Spencer Johnson,
- Having a higher purposes in life. Belonging to something larger than yourself will change one’s perspective where we can manage our brain by staying consciously focused on higher authority and matters that’s are controllable and constructive. Yes, Gone were the days where Pursuit of happiness of self-contentment and self-enlightenment was a virtue to be striven for rather than to be compared with others as rivalry with each other as the source of motivation and satisfaction as its not sustainable over long term; what others had achieved is none of our business if the fire within us is strong; it should only create gratitude and thankfulness for ourselves. Religion, charity, volunteering are just some of the avenue to identifying oneself with higher purposes. And for once you undermine your own misery listening and helping others.
“Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself” ― Baz Luhrmann
In summary, we are bearing the brunt of other rather negative emotional energy now increasingly thru online channels, it had the unimaginable power to multiply our inherent nature of flaws tenfold; Envy, Greed, Lust, Pride, Wrath and so on. It’s like no amount of external warming or blankets can help someone who is rapidly losing body temperature when stranded in wilderness, one can only restore core temperature internally through self-generation with high energy food intake and hot beverages. Keeping the fire burning within, avoid having our emotions, feeling and mental wellbeing infiltrated by unhealthy and destructive thoughts, love ourselves, manage our fear based imaginations and come to terms with our own destiny of mortality with higher purposes, we are here only for a short while to glorify the almighty and leave some decent legacies behind for our next generations in the larger scheme of things
“If you listen to your fears, you will die never knowing what a great person you might have been.” ~Robert H. Schuller